Ceremony Elements: 11 Elements to Consider for Your Wedding
What is the most exciting part of a wedding? For me, it is the opportunity to make your day as unique and exciting as you are.
There’s countless options to choose from when it comes to making your wedding truly representative of you and your partner, whether that’s as individuals or a couple.
When you are organising your big day, there’s a lot to consider. For example flowers, venue, decor, dress code, your cake and, of course, what will be used during the ceremony itself. Deciding whether to include a ceremonial element is of course one of the many questions that will come up.
An element, also known as a unity ceremony or a ritual, is a symbolic event woven into the wedding ceremony. These elements are derived from many different traditions and cultures, and are designed to symbolise your love for each other in a way that is meaningful to you.
Whatever suits you.
The exciting thing about elements is that, for all the tradition that they can be steeped in, they are also all adjustable to each couple’s unique personalities and requirements. These can be performed by your celebrant, or the celebrant can lead people close to you in the process, to give you that extra touch. Alongside the elements that have been used and adapted through the generations, there is also the opportunity for you to create a bespoke element that is uniquely and undeniably ‘you’.
With so many elements out there, it can be quite daunting to figure out where to start. So with that in mind, here is a list of some of the most popular ceremonial elements being used at the moment.
Handfasting
Handfasting is easily one of the most popular elements out there, due to its long lineage and ability to customise to suit each individual’s priorities in their marriage. Handfasting comes from an ancient Celtic tradition wherein the right hands of each partner are bound together during a portion of the wedding ceremony.
Typically, the officiant will read the vows while cords or ribbons of different colours are wrapped around the couple's hands. This symbolises their commitment to each other. This could well be where the term ’tying the knot’ comes from.
Handfasting is quite a detailed ceremony, so I have made a separate post here detailing what entails a handfasting, as well as a colour guide to give some inspiration.
Lighting a Unity Candle
The candle-lighting ceremony is one of the most commonly used elements in ceremonies today, and for good reason too, as it symbolises two families coming together.
A Unity Candle ceremony typically involves two small candles, representing the two families coming together, and a larger candle in the middle, representing the new family being created. The smaller candles will be lit, and the couple use the flames from those candles to come together and light the new family candle. The smaller candles can be pre-lit before the ceremony or, for that personal touch, can be lit during the ceremony by the parents of the couple.
(Top Tip: check with your venue what their policy is on open flames - we can usually get around these by placing the candles in lanterns, but better to be safe!)
The Pouring of Sand
This is a great ceremony idea for a nautical or beach wedding, but the concept can certainly be used for any wedding theme you choose.
The couple takes turns pouring coloured sand from personal vases into another vase, where they blend their sand together to make a beautiful display.
This is incredibly popular for those who are also interested in the Unity Candle element, but are more wary about the use of open flame!
Releasing a Wish Lantern
In this unity ritual, the couple release a paper lantern into the air, allowing their love to pass into the universe together as one.
Depending on the ceremony and your preferences, you may release the paper lantern on their own, or invite your guests to participate as well. Your guests could also write messages of goodwill onto the lantern to pass every best wish into the future.
Ring Warming
This ritual is loved for being simple, yet effective. Before the couple enter at the start of the ceremony, your ring bearer will pass your wedding bands (Top Tip: a jewellery pouch is the best way to keep the rings together, plus it looks lovely) to your guests. One by one, the guests will hold your bands and express their best wishes for your future together, and then pass them along until they reach the ring bearer again.
When the rings are then placed on your fingers, they will be filled with the love and hope that your guests have for you.
Creating an Anniversary Capsule
The time-capsule ceremony is a reminder of the durability of your love and the lifetime commitment of marriage.
Before the ceremony, the couple should gather up important mementos from their relationship: ticket stubs, hotel room keys, notes, and cards. In addition, each should write a love letter (to each other, ideally).
During the ceremony, all of these tokens of love are sealed up in a box, and the couple can open it on their five-year, 10-year, or 20-year anniversary (or if you’re impatient like me, even one year!).
The time-capsule ceremony can also include friends or family who are invited to bring photos, letters, or keepsakes to seal in the time capsule.
Circling
Circling originally derives from Jewish wedding ceremonies, and although not as well known as breaking a glass under your feet, this tradition is well loved for bringing a family together.
Each partner takes a turn circling around the other, typically seven times each. This symbolises the creation of a new family and the circle of protection and love each is placing around the other. Just don’t get dizzy.
Blending Paint
I love this fun idea to add a splash of colour. Artsy couples can each choose a different colour of paint and pour it onto a single canvas. The two paint colours blend and bring life to the empty canvas together, creating a modern-art representation of their marriage.
Wine/Drink Pouring
If you've ever stumbled upon the perfect red blend wine that you couldn't get enough of, this is definitely the unity ceremony for you.
The couple chooses two different, yet compatible, wines, pours them into a glass to create a perfect blend, and then drinks the blend together. This can also be done with beer, or it can be done with tea for a dry wedding, or indeed any beverage you may both enjoy.
Wine Box Ceremony
Some things just get better with time, like the perfect bottle of wine. And what better way to plan ahead for your anniversary than to bring a love for wine into your ceremony?
For the non-religious wine box ceremony, the couple selects a wine that can age well.
During the wedding, the couple places the bottle of wine in a box and closes the lid, sometimes including other notes or objects. Once sealed, the box isn't opened until a specific date chosen, such as a 10-year wedding anniversary, or if you’re anything like me, after about a week!
Consult a wine steward or another knowledgeable wine expert on the best wine to tuck away. Often, white wines don't age as well as reds. You'll want to make sure you choose something that can still be enjoyed 10 years on.
Tree Planting
This is such a sweet ceremony option for a woodland themed or garden-inspired wedding. This creative nature-inspired idea is to plant a tree together, adding soil (perhaps gathered from both of your hometowns) to a pot to symbolise your union.
Just like the tree, your relationship will need love and care to grow and bloom.
There are many more options than the ones I have detailed here, and I am more than happy to go through any other ideas you may have, if you have seen an element that you love, or even if you have had an idea for something new. When meeting a couple, there’s nothing I love more than finding the perfect elements to support their big day, and I can’t wait to do that for you.